Finding Yourself
by Dynamictoffee
Summary: When you see your sister bleed to death in the Hunger Games you find parts of yourself. When you get picked for the Hunger Games the year after you find parts of yoursef. Sometimes what you find can surprise you...
1. Remembering

Chapter 1

Remembering

**A/N: I wrote this last night when I got bored and decided to make this a continuous thing. So yeah... Read and review!**

**P.S Dynamiccookie dont spam!**

I hoped it wouldn't be me, as I stared out the window. I knew though, that the odds weren't in my favour. I was in there 50 times... I imagined what my family would do without me. My parents would lose it completely. While my younger brother Sam wouldn't understand and be confused. My older brother Jack would be heart-broken and wouldn't speak to anyone. Jack wouldn't have to worry about the reaping this year. He turned 19 yesterday. I heard movement behind me, then a voice.

"Matt..." The voice whispered. "What are you doing up?" I turned around. Jack was standing there with his bed sheets on the floor and his blonde hair in a mess. I looked into his pale grey eyes.

"Thinking..." I said simply.

"About what?" He asked.

"The Reaping..."

"What else?"

"Grace..." I replied with tears forming in my eyes. Grace was my older sister but she got picked when she was only 14. She was slashed across her gut and left to bleed to death. That was the worst year. Jack opened his arms and I fell into them. I felt tears fall down my cheeks like waterfalls.

"What if I get picked?" I said through my tears. "What if I end up like Grace?"

"You won't Matt..." He said soothingly stroking my hair. "I won't let them."

"How?" I asked "You're over 18 they won't let you..."

"Just trust me" Was all he said. I didn't though... I never trusted anyone.


	2. The Reaping

Chapter 2

The Reaping

I followed Jack and my parents out of the house with Sam behind me. Today was the big day. The day of the Reaping. I led Sam over to the space where the 13-18 year olds stood to be reaped. I looked across the crowd looking for familliar faces. I couldnt see any. I watched as Effie Trinket walked up to the microphone and started talking. Eventually she stopped talking and went over to the glass ball which held the girls names. Everyone held their breath as Effie cleared her throat.

"Olivia Brown!" She said happily. I knew her. Every boy at school fancied her. She had brown, shoulder length hair and blue eyes. I did'nt think much of her. I watched as she went up on stage with tears in her eyes. Effie congratulated her and turned to the boys glass ball. I held my breath as she read out the name, praying it wasn't one of my 50 names.

"Matt Smith" **(A:N/ I didnt know that Matt Smith played the Doctor in Doctor Who... It was just a random name ok? DONT JUDGE!)** She said. I couldn't believe it. My name. The year after my sister. "Matt Smith" She repeated "Where are you?" Everyone around me had stepped away from me leaving me in a circle. I started slowly walking to the stage. Effie had spotted me and was gesturing at me to hurry up. I got onstage and swallowed. Everyone was looking at us. I could see some Peacekeepers holding back Jack as he tried to reach me. My parents and Sam where crying silently. Effie was talking again but I wasn't listening. She told us to shake hands. I shook hands with Olivia and we looked in each other's eyes. I could tell she was scared. I kept my face and eyes an emotionless mask. If I wanted sponsers I would have to make an impression from the start. Effie congratulated us again and we were escorted into the Justice Building. Olivia and I were put into seperate rooms and I was told to wait. I thought about Grace and how she was left to die. I thought about the Victor that had killed her. I promised myself that if I ever found that person I would kill them. I jumped as someone opened the door and spoke.

"Your visitors are here..." I turned around. It was a Peacekeeper. Behind him was my best friend Chloe. The Peacekeeper let Chloe in and then exited, shutting the door behind him. Immediatly she ran towards me and hugged me. She had tears in her brown eyes.

"I have to tell you something..." She whispered. "In case you dont come back.." I was confused. What could she have to tell me?

"What is it?" I asked. She sniffed and said.

"I... I love you..." This brought on a fresh wave of tears and she hugged me again. I couldn't say I felt the same. So I just nodded and hugged her until Peacekeeper came to say our time was up. Next was my familly. My parents were crying hysterically. Jack was speechless. Sam was looking at me like I was a ghost. I had to be strong for them.

"Mum... Dad..." I started making them look at me. "You cant just sit around motionless like when Grace died. You have to believe that I will come back and not leave Jack to take care of us. Ok?" They nodded and hugged me.  
"We love you Matt..." My mum said.

"Make us proud..." My dad added. I nodded and turned to Jack.

"Take care of Sam for me will you? And make sure mum and dad dont close in again?" I asked him. He nodded and started saying something.

"But... What if-" He started. But I cut him off.

"No. Dont even think for a moment that I wont come back. Just... take care of Sam..." I looked at him sternly. He gulped and nodded. I was about to talk to Sam when some Peacekeepers entered the room and told us that our time was up. There were a few last minute hugs before the Peacekeepers took them away. I stood in the centre of the room, fighting back tears. I had to look strong for the cameras. Even if I felt that I couldn't resist anymore... Even if I thought about Grace, lying dead in a pool of blood.


End file.
